Indeed, submitting to economy style dining is akin to partaking in an extreme act of self denigration. What is to be said of one’s self respect in consuming questionable, unpalatable airline food, more often than not claimed as gourmet?

All airline meals are produced on mass and poured ahead of time into disposable aluminum pans and frozen. In flight, hundreds of such meals are simultaneously reconstituted, then held an undetermined amount of time in carts, warming meat whilst chilling salads. The individual cost of these meals to the airlines purportedly range somewhere between US$0.70 to US$1.30 - draw your own conclusions of quality.

Quality issues aside, any food consumed in-flight is physically difficult to digest due to the effects of low air pressure, causing the intestines to expand. It is recommended that appropriate foods to be eaten at high altitude are those that require the least oxygen to digest i.e. carbohydrates. And yet the airlines predominantly serve meals with an underlying meat content i.e. protein.

For those unfortunate not to be seated at the pointy end of the plane, with a degree of foresight the maintaining one's self respect is not beyond the realms of obtainability. Indeed, suffering such indignity of a tourist passage for a few hours or so can be more than compensated by the significant monetary savings which can be applied towards better accommodation or finer dining upon arrival.

Of course, whilst Business and First Class travel is a far more alluring prospect, it is not always as appealing as one would expect, much is dependent upon the aircraft type, aircraft age and carrier of choice.

Improving Upon a Desperate Situation - Economy Travel

The most difficult aspect to deal with when flying economy is that of being treated with near on total indifference by airline staff, compounded by the forced proximity to people one would normally cross the street to avoid. Economy class passengers in general are clearly not representative of the elevated position for which you exist in society and your association by proximity is a clear injustice.

Fortunately however, there are a number of things which can be done to distinguish you from the surrounding masses and ease the discomfort, quite possibly adding a degree of enjoyment to the experience.

And should you feel inclined to accept the attendant’s gracious offer of insipid tea or coffee, remember that aside from being a diuretic, the water is also sourced from onboard tanks. Re-hydration following ones flight is both essential and often overlooked. It is recommended to drink plenty of pure water for several days after landing.

Dining - On Board Health Risks

Regardless of class or seating arrangement, the most pleasurable in-flight dining experience will result from that which you provide yourself. Actually, the food is rather good in first class, but so it should be for a 400% premium over economy.

Self catering is the only means of ensuring your refined tastes are uncompromised, the pleasure somewhat heightened by the looks of envy from accompanying passengers, watching jealously as you enjoy perhaps an exquisite platter of sushi, delicious summer fruits, fresh French pastries and real espresso coffee.

Hydration - The Key to Safe Travelling

To facilitate comfort and alleviate jet lag upon arrival it is essential to drink copious amounts of water, before during and after the flight - regardless of seating allocation. In-flight atmospheric conditions are incredibly draining, humidity on many long haul high altitude flights falling to as little as 1%. As means of comparison, relative humidity in the Sahara and Arabian deserts averages 20-25%, whilst optimum comfort is recommended at 50%.

Health and inspiration deteriorate quickly without adequate water intake, in-flight dehydration being one of the most serious hazards long-distance flyers face today. But be cautioned, a recent sampling of airplane drinking water revealed that the tap water in one in eight planes had harmful bacteria including coliform and E. coli. Noting that in-flight water is supplied directly from the dubious water reserves of the worlds airports, be sure to carry your own bottled water or insist that water is provided in unopened sealed bottles – yes, they do get refilled from the tap.

The ultimate solution is to bypass the dining experience altogether, thus greatly improving the travel experience. But if you must, take responsibility prior to boarding for that which you will consume and hence ensure your sophisticated standards are maintained – the rest can eat cake.

Sleeping Tablets - Pros & Cons

Disclaimers first, drugs should never be taken without having first obtained professional medical advice. Disclaimer aside, sleeping tablets are perhaps the most extreme and effective means of dealing with the discomfort of long haul travel.

Light sedatives can be highly beneficial in helping the mind and body to relax, in turn helping to alleviate the discomfort of confined surrounds. Although they may not guarantee prolonged deep sleep, this can possibly be a benefit, noting particularly comments above on hydration and the need to drink water continuously.

Stronger medication can effectively make time fly. Brilliant as this may seem, the after affects can also be extreme, dehydration and artificial sleep patterns combining to prolong the severity and duration of jet lag, not to mention the dangers associated with prolonged inactivity and potential deep vein thrombosis.

Noise Cancelling Headphones

As good as these devices are, they still won’t stop that bastard child from kicking the back of your chair, but with luck, they will block the drivel emitted forth from its impetuous mouth. However, the real benefit in noise cancelling headphones is to eradicate most of the perpetual engine drone and low frequency noise whilst allowing you to continue enjoying your favourite movies or music.

Although even the best units won’t completely block out all noise, they can be remarkably effective in reducing it to a background murmur, the effectiveness most notable when you take them off and bask in the inner gratification of your own comfort amongst your suffering fellow passengers.

Some seasoned traveller writers have even proclaimed that this technology is amongst the greatest advances in alleviating jet lag. A little farfetched perhaps, they nevertheless assist greatly in making ones flight eminently more pleasant.

A word of caution, there are many suppliers purportedly claiming to manufacture high quality noise cancelling headphones – most of them, if not nearly all of them are complete rubbish. If you have the means and choose not to compromise on your own comfort then the choice is narrowed considerably. Quite simply, it’s the Bose Quiet Comfort 2 or Sennheiser PXC 300. The Bose is hideously expensive and you will look like a bit of a twat wearing them, but when money is no object and you simply want the best there really is no alternative.

As an added bonus, these units also provide exceptional sound reproduction, noting particularly the dynamic base response and clear upper register. The in-flight entertainment system will never have sounded so good.